Ambivalence

We have the tendency to strive for clear definitions, characterizations,

assessments. 

This doesn’t only help us to (seemingly) find our place in this complex world,

it also gives us the idea (illusion) to have clarity about ourselves and others. 

Like that we dig our way through this life. We basically know what we (don’t) 

want, think, are(n’t) supposed to do. I don’t want to say that we shouldn’t have 

any values, concepts or aims. No, these things have helped us a lot in our history 

and are, without doubt, the tools for our way in any kind of future.

Still, it is often not easy to be honest or unbiased when it comes to describe 

the complexity of things we feel, think, do, want 

Black - white, love - hate, little big (man), sweet-and-sour,bittersweet.

Bittersweet.
Bitter or sweet? What is really better?
Sweet feels soft, may be too soft.
Bitter feels severe, definitely too severe.

If you consider the effect the word might have as a whole, some might think

it is more positive, whereas others connect it with  rather negative connotations.

Am I allowed to like chocolate even though I am a man? At least a little…
Sometimes I am craving for a bitter taste in my mouth if I don’t want to throw up 

all this sweet (fake) stuff which has accumulated there for years.
This kind of being sweet doesn’t caress my body and soul, it hits them!

I must say yes to ambivalence, not to clarity!
I have laughed a lot, but at the same time forgotten other people’s suffering.
I have cried because I suffered, but simultaneously felt that my tears brought relief.
I often want to have clear things around me: Sun, purity, beauty...
I often try to avoid shadow, dirt, ugliness...

However, without the existence of the black color of the soul, I wouldn’t know

anything about the innocence of snow.
Without the paleness of your face I wouldn't be able to see the depths behind your black eyes.
Black and white. Both are the colors of death.
Cold, white snow covers, protects and warms black soil.
Black soil willingly opens its lap for its new white dress, at least for some time.

There is no question about it. We are surrounded by extremes. 

These ways of existence might be necessary sometimes, but more often our lives

are an intriguing mixture of all kinds of things.

Let’s be white black people crying in the shadow.
Let’s be black snowmen laughing in the sun.
Reach out your hands.
Exchange colors, expressions, emotions and see what happens.

Ambivalent terms are more than just beautiful words.